A personal problem

The following post is about a personal problem I needed to write and just let out there but you don't have to read it if you don't want to. I won't often do this unless I feel like I just need to let it out when I can't talk to anyone. 

Ok so I'm having one of those thinking moments and I really need to just write it out and let it go. My feelings are so confused. In the past I really liked this guy but we were really close friends (like we grew up together and we're like brother and sister). But of course me and my stupid self decided to like him but he didn't like me. But whatever that's in the past now I don't like him. But in a way I miss liking him(in a way). Like I never really had a crush on someone (this happened like 3 years ago) and some of my friends think I never moved on. But I swear I don't like him like that anymore. And I hate myself for this but I think I might have feelings for his brother. And his brother is nice and mean at the same time. The one I liked before was sweet and cute and charming but his brother was the rude and arrogant one and still is to this moment. But when him (the one I not sure if I like) and his sister got into an argument I decided to kinda be stupid again and tell them my whole life story and tell them they should trust each other and etc. And in the end he is probably the only guy that truly knows me and excepts me for me. And is one of the only guys that are truly open with me, that I trust fully. And this makes me think back to "ENDER'S GAME" when Ender kinda says that once you truly know someone you can't help but love them the way they love themselves and I believe that is so true. But I don't want to love him or even like him. His to precious to me and I'm not even sure if he likes me for god's sake (sorry for that if anyone is religious) but I can't help but feel the way I do. But I also can't lose him, I don't want to risk it. And he's kinda a player and has dated many girls in the past (he dating 3 girls within 1 year). And he also has a stupid goal to date 7 best friends and he's has about 3 left to go. I'm so confused but I really thought I could let it all out if I just write it out and plus it's not like anyone's going to tell on me right? I just really wanted to let it out instead of keeping it all bundled in. Oh and plus another downside to this is their sister is my best friend and she doesn't want me liking her brothers because it's weird. 

THANKS FOR LISTENING!!!!!